Speaking The Truth In Love

            In Ephesians 4:14-15, the apostle Paul stated: “That we henceforth be no more children, tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men, and cunning craftiness, whereby they lie in wait to deceive; but speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ.”

            There were two mayor threats to believers: (1) false teachers, who hesitated not to use unscrupulous means in order to corrupt the truth, and (2) unstable disciples who could be tossed to and fro with every wind of doctrine. As to the first, the passage speaks decisively, warning of “the sleight of men, and cunning craftiness, whereby they lie in wait to deceive.” Sleight is from kubeia, meaning “in the throw of the dice…sometimes cheating.” False teachers are deceptive; by “good words and fair speeches,” they deceive the hearts of the simple (Ro. 16:18). With respect to the second, Paul calls the believers at Ephesus “children,” and notes they are “tossed to and fro.” Many of the Ephesians may have been new converts, not yet grounded in the faith, and particularly susceptible to “every wind of doctrine.” They are most influenced by the last person who instructed them.

            In response to these dangers, the apostle urges “speaking the truth in love” so that they “may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ.” There is an obvious contrast here with the false teachers who used sleight, deceit, and craftiness in their efforts to win converts. The disciples of Christ were to speak the truth in love. Deceit and trickery go hand in hand with error, but faithfulness to the truth involves love as the motivation for our proclamation.

(I) We Must Be “Speaking The Truth In Love”[i]

            The admonition of the apostle includes three elements: (1) speaking, (2) the truth, (3) in love.

            1. Speaking. In a very remarkable passage in Second Corinthians 4:13, Paul stated: “We also believe, and therefore speak.” To the apostle, the connection was inevitable. If one believes, that belief necessitates speaking. No one who truly believes the gospel can remain silent. The eminent commentator, Albert Barnes, said: “No man should attempt to preach the gospel who has not a firm belief of its truths; and he who does believe its truths will be prompted to make them known to his fellow-men.” Jeremiah thought to remain silent with the prophetic message, but “his word was in mine heart as a burning fire shut up in my bones, and I was weary with forbearing, and I could not stay” (Jer. 20:9).

            Of his own labors, Paul exclaimed: “Yea, woe is unto me, if I preach not the gospel!” He called upon the Ephesians to pray for him “that I may open my mouth boldly…that therein I may speak boldly, as I ought to speak” (Eph. 6:19-20). When Peter and John appeared before the religious leaders of their day, these men were astounded when they “saw the boldness of Peter and John” (Acts 4:13), and they commanded them “not to speak at all nor teach in the name of Jesus,” but Peter and John responded: “For we cannot but speak the things which we have seen and heard” (Acts 4:18, 20). These passages emphasize the necessity of speaking and maintaining the truth.

            2. Truth. Although we must speak, we do not speak just any message. We must speak the truth. Jesus said, “And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free” (Jn. 8:32). He promised the apostles that the Spirit would guide them into “all truth” (Jn. 16:13). The Spirit is, in fact, denoted as “the Spirit of truth” (Jn. 15:26; 16:13). Jesus commanded, “God ye into all the world, and preach the gospel to every creature” (Mk. 16:15). He declared: “I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father but by me” (Jn. 14:6).

            Our handling of the truth is a serious matter; we must handle it aright (2 Ti. 2:15). Paul spoke of some who would be “damned who believed not the truth” (2 Thes. 2:12). Jesus himself said, “But he that believeth not shall be damned” (Mk. 16:16). We need to love the truth (see 2 Thes. 2:10; Prov. 23:23).

            We are not saved by a lie, but by the truth: “Seeing ye have purified your souls in obeying the truth through the Spirit unto unfeigned love of the brethren, see that ye love one another with a pure heart fervently” (2 Pet. 1:22). Paul said, “I say the truth in Christ, I lie not” (Ro. 9:1).

            3. In love. Truth and love are inseparably connected. John wrote; “Grace be with you, mercy, and peace, from God the father, and from the Lord Jesus Christ, the Son of the Father, in truth and love” (2 Jn. 3). Neither is full without the other; on the one hand, love without truth is mere unguided emotion, and on the other hand, truth without love Is mere unfeeling ritual. But truth and love together represent the power of God unto salvation. The love that I associated with truth is: (1) Love for the Lord—“If ye love me, keep my commandments” (Jn. 14:15; (2) Love for the Word—“O how love I thy law! It is my meditation all the day” (Ps. 119:97); (3) Love for the recipients—“Am I therefore become your enemy, because I tell you the truth?” (Gal. 4:16); (4) Love for faithfulness—“I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth” (2 Jn. 4); (5) Love for brethren—“We know that we have passed from death unto life, because we love the brethren” (1 Jn. 3:14); and, (6) Love for others—“Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself” (Jas. 2:8).

            Biblical love does not minimize truth; rather, it projects it. What kind of love would withhold knowledge of great happiness and joy? If we know the truth, we cannot help but share it with others—not in an arrogant, boastful spirit, but instead in a genuine spirit of love, caring, and concern.

            Thus, Paul’s exhortation to the Ephesians of “speaking the truth in love,” is an apt summation of both mission and motivation for the Christian. Our mission: Speak the truth. Our motivation: Speak it in love.

(II) The Truth Is Often Offensive

            No matter how well-intending our motivation for speaking the truth may be, no matter how loving or kind, the truth by itself is enough to offend and upset many, if not most, people. The truth is very often hard to take; not just spiritually, but truth period. Many times, the truth is disappointing, it can be heartbreaking, and it can even be devastating at times. Should it be any surprise to us then that many spiritual truths can also be hard to accept?

            So, what do we do about it? Do we just leave out those parts of God’s word that are difficult to take, that are upsetting or disturbing to us? Many do, but we can’t. What if a loved one dies of some illness, and then afterward, we find out that when the illness was first detected it could have been treated and the end result of it, death, avoided but when the test results came back the doctor withheld that information because he didn’t want to upset us or our loved one? You mean to tell me that my loved one would be alive today if you had only told us she was sick? How could you hold information like that back? If only we had known! Many on the Day of Judgment will be asking the very same question—Why didn’t you tell me? If only I had known, this could have been avoided, but instead, you said nothing to me and now I face eternal torment. What would we say to them, I didn’t want to offend you by telling you the truth so, instead, I watched you wonder into eternity unprepared? No, we must be speaking the truth in love, even if people are offended by it. If they will listen, they will thank us for it one of these days!

            Those who have remained faithful to God and stood firm in the truth have always faced persecution from those who were offended by it. Cain was so offended that instead of repenting and offering a better sacrifice, he killed his brother Abel. When Naaman was told that he needed to dip Seven times in the Jordan he went away ranting and raving over the thought of doing such a thing!  “Behold I thought…” There are so many offended by the gospel today because it is not according to their thinking or expectations. Over in the book of Daniel we read about Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. They said, in Daniel 3:18, “be it known unto thee, O king, that we will not serve thy gods, nor worship the golden image which thou hast set up.” What was the response from the king? Verse 19 and 21:

Then was Nebuchadnezzar full of fury, and the form of his visage was changed against Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego: therefore he spake, and commanded that they should heat the furnace seven times more than it was wont to be heated. And he commanded certain mighty men that were in his army to bind Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego, and to cast them into the burning fiery furnace.

One of the great prophets, named Jeremiah, was no stranger to persecution. He said,

Woe is me, my mother, that thou hast borne me a man of strife and a man of contention to the whole earth! I have not lent, neither have men lent to me; yet every one of them doth curse me….O Jehovah, thou knowest; remember me, and visit me, and avenge me of my persecutors; take me not away in thy longsuffering: know that for thy sake I have suffered reproach. Why is my pain perpetual, and my wound incurable, which refuseth to be healed? wilt thou indeed be unto me as a deceitful brook, as waters that fail? (Jer 15:10, 15, 18)

Elijah, another great prophet of the Old Testament, running for his life, said,

I have been very jealous for Jehovah, the God of hosts; for the children of Israel have forsaken thy covenant, thrown down thine altars, and slain thy prophets with the sword; and I, even I only, am left; and they seek my life, to take it away. (1 Kgs. 19:14)

            Now, come over and look in the New Testament with me for just a moment. What has changed as far as people’s willingness to hear the truth? Nothing. Consider Stephen. In Acts 7, standing before the Jewish council, beginning with verse 51 said,

Ye stiffnecked and uncircumcised in heart and ears, ye do always resist the Holy Spirit: as your fathers did, so do ye. Which of the prophets did not your fathers persecute? and they killed them that showed before of the coming of the Righteous One; of whom ye have now become betrayers and murderers; ye who received the law as it was ordained by angels, and kept it not. Now when they heard these things, they were cut to the heart, and they gnashed on him with their teeth. But he, being full of the Holy Spirit, looked up stedfastly into heaven, and saw the glory of God, and Jesus standing on the right hand of God, and said, Behold, I see the heavens opened, and the Son of Man standing on the right hand of God. But they cried out with a loud voice, and stopped their ears, and rushed upon him with one accord; and they cast him out of the city, and stoned him: and the witnesses laid down their garments at the feet of a young man named Saul. And they stoned Stephen, calling upon the Lord, and saying, Lord Jesus, receive my spirit. And he kneeled down, and cried with a loud voice, Lord, lay not this sin to their charge. And when he had said this, he fell asleep. (Acts 7:51-60)

The truth is offensive to people! How many times was Paul beaten, imprisoned, stoned, and rejected by his own countrymen, his Jewish brethren? He asked the Galatians, “Am I therefore become your enemy, because I tell you the truth?” (Gal. 4:16). As far as we know, of all the apostles, only John lived to die of old age, the others died as martyrs (not counting Judas). Jesus read from Isaiah and said, “The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, Because he anointed me to preach good tidings to the poor: He hath sent me to proclaim release to the captives, And recovering of sight to the blind, To set at liberty them that are bruised, To proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord” (Lk. 4:18-19). By the time He had finished speaking, what was the response? Verse28-30:

And they were all filled with wrath in the synagogue, as they heard these things; and they rose up, and cast him forth out of the city, and led him unto the brow of the hill whereon their city was built, that they might throw him down headlong. But he passing through the midst of them went his way.

People need to hear the truth, and all of it, so that it will not be said of us, “my people are destroyed for lack of knowledge” (Ho. 4:6).

(III) Some Will Accept The Truth And Be Saved

            What is it worth to save a soul from hell? Is it worth our money, our time, or effort? Is it worth leaving our homes and families? Jesus thought so:

Jesus said, Verily I say unto you, There is no man that hath left house, or brethren, or sisters, or mother, or father, or children, or lands, for my sake, and for the gospel's sake, but he shall receive a hundredfold now in this time, houses, and brethren, and sisters, and mothers, and children, and lands, with persecutions; and in the world to come eternal life. (Mk. 10:29-30)

Is it worth being criticized, ridiculed, or imprisoned for? Paul thought so. What if that soul was our own, would it be worth it then? Not everyone is going to follow in the example of the Thessalonians who Paul was praising when he wrote: “For this cause also thank we God without ceasing, because, when ye received the word of God which ye heard of us, ye received it not as the word of men, but as it is in truth, the word of God, which effectually worketh also in you that believe” (1Th 2:13). But, for the sake of those who do, it will all be worth it. Why? Because we are speaking the truth “in love.” Because of our love for those lost souls, it is worth it. Paul said, “I am made all things to all men, that I might by all means save some” (1 Cor. 9:22).

            In spite of the opposition, if we will be persistent and patiently endure in our efforts to speak the truth in love, souls will obey the gospel. “For after that in the wisdom of God the world by wisdom knew not God, it pleased God by the foolishness of preaching to save them that believe” (1 Cor. 1:21). The power to save the lost is still in the gospel if we will only preach it. How we got the gospel out to the world is up to us, but it is still the gospel that saves. It will be offensive to some, but for the sake of those who will accept it, we must continue to preach it.

            If we were to read through the book of Acts and follow Paul through his missionary journeys and over to his imprisonment in Rome, we would see a pattern immerging: Paul went from place to place preaching the truth in love; we would see that everywhere that Paul went preaching the truth in love, persecution seemed to follow him; but, also, nearly everywhere that Paul went preaching the truth in love, converts were made and congregations were planted. When he went to Antioch of Pisidia, the gospel was preached and in verses 44 and 45 of chapter 13 is says, “and the next Sabbath almost the whole city was gathered together to hear the word of God. But when the Jews saw the multitudes, they were filled with jealousy, and contradicted the things which were spoken by Paul, and blasphemed.” Did the word of God do any good there? Sure! Verse 48: “And as the Gentiles heard this, they were glad, and glorified the word of God: and as many as were ordained to eternal life believed.” In verse 50 it says that a “persecution against Paul and Barnabas” was stirred up and they were “cast…out of their borders”, but not before some seed had been sown. And, just because they were run out of town, so to speak, doesn’t mean they quit preaching the truth. In verse 51 it says, “But they shook off the dust of their feet against them, and came unto Iconium.” They just went on to the next place.

            They then preached in Iconium. What happened there?

And when there was made an onset both of the Gentiles and of the Jews with their rulers, to treat them shamefully and to stone them, they became aware of it, and fled unto the cities of Lycaonia, Lystra and Derbe, and the region round about: and there they preached the gospel. (Acts 14:5-7)

But, not before the seed of the kingdom was sown and “a great multitude both of Jews and of Greeks believed” (verse 1).

            What happened when they got to Lystra? Paul healed a man that was crippled, the people were restrained from worshipping he and Barnabas, and then Paul began to speak the truth in love. In Acts 14:18 it says,

And with these sayings scarce restrained they the multitudes from doing sacrifice unto them. But there came Jews thither from Antioch and Iconium: and having persuaded the multitudes, they stoned Paul, and dragged him out of the city, supposing that he was dead. But as the disciples stood round about him, he rose up, and entered into the city: and on the morrow he went forth with Barnabas to Derbe. (Acts 14:18-20)

Are you beginning to see the pattern? Everywhere he went speaking the truth in love, he and his companions were persecuted severely, but at the same time, many were converted by the word.

            On his next missionary journey he went to Philippi where he and Silas were beaten and imprisoned, but also were a congregation of God’s people was planted (Acts 16). He next went to Thessalonica where he preached the gospel and many believed (Acts 17:4), but not without persecutions (verses 5-9). Verse 10: “And the brethren immediately sent away Paul and Silas by night unto Berea: who when they were come thither went into the synagogue of the Jews.” What happened in Berea? Many of them believed (verse 12), but,

…When the Jews of Thessalonica had knowledge that the word of God was proclaimed of Paul at Beroea also, they came thither likewise, stirring up and troubling the multitudes. And then immediately the brethren sent forth Paul to go as far as to the sea: and Silas and Timothy abode there still. But they that conducted Paul brought him as far as Athens: and receiving a commandment unto Silas and Timothy that they should come to him with all speed, they departed. (Acts 17:13-15)

What do you think happened in Athens, and then in Corinth? Paul continued on speaking the truth in love. There continued to be those who persecuted and those who believed and were saved.

            The gospel is the same today as it was back in the first century and if we will only be willing to speak it in love, it still has the power to save!

Conclusion

            If we believe what is written on the pages of our Bibles, then we must speak it; we must not keep it to ourselves or be quiet about it! If we are going to speak it, we must speak the truth! If we are going to speak the truth, we must do it in love! The lost souls of the world are counting on it. The only hope they have of salvation is to hear the truth. Sure, we will face opposition, but isn’t it worth it to save a lost soul from death?